Computer Monkey 004:  El

El Cubano Gordo & Friends: 4/1/07 - 4/8/07

Friday, April 6, 2007

Did this really happen? - as told by Annie (Related)

Did this really happen? Last night Al and Pete showed up to their first pre -season basketball game. They faced about 30 guys who may or may not be body doubles for NBA players in their spare time.

One of them pitied them enough, or was kind enough, not sure which, to play on their team, which he lovingly nicknamed, "Team Dow Jones." The punishment ended with a final score of something like 46-6. Naturally, though, the play didn't end before one of the opposing team members alley ooped (Related) ooped the ball to another NBA-body double resulting in a slam dunk. Shouts of "Let it rain! Let it rain!" followed.

At least they burned some calories and looked fresh in their new $15.00 Starbury II kicks (Related) Starbury .- Annie

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Not the elliptical again!! (Related)

Well since I have undertaken this challenge, I have religiously been using the elliptical machine (Related) . I bought one during Christmas and I love it. But sometimes it just can get really boring to do the same thing over and over again.

So today, I decided to accept an invitation at work to play some basketball during lunch. I work at a pretty amazing company which has its own gym, softball field, sand volleyball courts, tennis courts and basketball courts. I usually don't play basketball because I hate to get injured. I am the type of person that plays hard no matter what I do.

Well I played for about an hour and I had a great time and I really had a great sweat. I really missed playing full court basketball. At least so I thought....

...That night after work, I usually do my plyometric exercises (Related) to work on my jumping for volleyball. Wow did I feel it. My legs were so tired and my knees felt like mush. Every jump I felt vibrate through my 31 year old body. Now I remember why I love the elliptical machine. It's smooth movements during the workout really don't put any unwanted pressure on your joints. I will never stray again.

The Perfect Daily Meal? (Related)

As a posterchild for obesssive-compulsive disorder, I tend to develop certain habbits and stick to them religiously. For example, when I like a song, I play it over and over for days. With food, I grew up eating spagetti with meatsauce for every meal for at least 10 years. I kid you not. There must be health implications for this neurotic behavior. Everyone knows that good health depends on eating a varitey of foods...

So my question is, now that I'm hitting the salad slopes, have I arrived at the perfect meal for my obession?

Spinach

Tomatoes

Broccoli

Mushrooms

Avocado

Grilled Chicken

Fat-Free Caesar

Pros:

Mix of green, red, protein, healthy fats.

Cons:

Not enough variety.

What do you think? Can I get away with eathing this every day?

Noah

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Today's Guest Blogger: Everyone can do a chaturanga dandasana (Related)

So last night, 3 friends and I took a moderately difficult yoga class. I say difficult because the instructor asked us to shoot directly from a plank pose to a crow pose (pictured on the left). For folks who don't know what I'm talking about... imagine being in a push up with arms slightly bent and shooting your knees bent on top of your forearms and balancing on your hands. This takes years of practice people... The levels across our foursome varied from novice to intermediate. I don't think any one of us did the whole plank pose to crow pose, although some of us did make a great effort landing in a forward roll. But overall, the class was a great success especially with a crisp bottle of chardonnay and sushi to top off the night. So below are some key points from last night's dinner conversation about our great yoga adventure...

Yoga is a great equalizer... In the room of 50 or so yogi-wannabees, folks from different walks of life included sailors, hippies, armymen, triathletes, and media buyers. We all did our downward dogs with all four paws planted on the mat.

Not everyone in the room knows what a chaturanga dandasana, so it should be explained if you expect it to be done.

Happy baby is a pretty great pose, happy baby pose with legs straight is even greater.

Yoga instructors really need to make sure they remind us how to breathe properly throughout yoga asanas because some of us who are busy trying to do the poses forget to breathe.

Yoga can be done while chewing gum, although it is not recommended. Out of our yoga foursome, two out of the four were chewing gum and blowing bubbles throughout their practice.

If your "slightly free" neighbor farts during a yoga class, as there are lots of positions that conduce this expulsion, a laughing fit will ensue. And it is just SOO MUCH worse if the farter says 'excuse me'... Laughing fit will worsen and you will be forced to leave the room.

In all seriousness though, we all really enjoyed our practice and are making a commitment to continue our path to enlightenment. For all you ladies especially, yoga is an excellent way of building strength and muscle tone as opposed to lifting weights. In yoga, you're using your own body weight as weights.

My 3 yogi friends and I hope all the 'fat is wack' participants engage in a bit of yogic acitivity and incorporate it into their competition as it will provide endless hours of downward dog joy.

Namaste...

Mary from Miami Thanks Noah - Easter Candy (Related)

Noah, I think you really hit the nail on the head with your Food 2.0 post. I've noticed that skinny people don't obsess about food like I do. They really see it as nourishment, period. I really enjoy it. I see it as a reward, as a way to relax, as a way to celebrate, the list goes on.

While I'm not in the competition, I, too, recently committed to losing weight. Today, I had to take my kids to an Easter party after school. First let me say, that 95% of the moms at my kids' school are in awesome shape. (granted most of them don't work and have time to workout 2 hours or more daily.) Anyway, all my favorite foods were at this party. Cookies (home made), Peeps!, tons of candy, chips... if it has partially hydrogenated oils in it, I'm loving it... you get the picture. I was DYING inside! I'm proud to say that I was good and stayed away, but it was an incredible effort. As I watched the food table (drooling), though, I noticed that none of the skinny moms were anywhere near it and it didn't even look like it was a challenge for them to stay away!

Anyway, sorry for the long comment! Your post obviously touched me deeply. : ) Keep up the good work! - Mary from Miami

Yabba Dabba Doo - Vitamins (Related)

As a kid I remember loving Flinstone Kids vitamins. They were chewable and consisted of wonderful fake cherry and grape flavors. The jingle and TV commercials were mesmorizing and unforgettable to anyone watching Saturday morning cartoons in the '80s. I dont' remember when I stopped eating Dino and BamBam for breakfast, but a few months ago I began to incorporate Centrum 100 and Nordic Naturals Omega 3 vitamins into my daily routine. I know there is a lot of debate out there on the value of vitamins. However, I have to tell my fellow Fat is Wack competitors that I feel much more energized during the day when I remember to take my vitamins. Also, if you guys need a little extra motivation I've pasted a few links to old Flinstone Kid Commercials. Sadly, I couldn't find any from the 80s.

Commercial 1  (Related)

Commercial 2  (Related)

Commercial 3  (Related)

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Jiffy, Peter Pan or Skippy (Related)

Serious Eats, a website dedicated to celebrating foods people love, determined that April 2 was National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day (Related) . To celebrate, the editors provided us with an in-depth special report on how to build the world's best PB&J sandwich. I decided to celebrate and made my own.

I started to investigate the nutritional value of my sandwich. I was not happy to learn that my childhood favorite delivers 18 grams of fat and 400 calories. If I think about the PB&J only in terms of its calories and fat, this sandwich will be limited to a rare appearance at the lunch table. Fortunately I choose to look on the bright side: Peanut Butter is a good source of protein (my sandwich had 12 grams) and if I use natural peanut butter, I'll get less sugar. If I replace the white bread with wheat, I'll get more fiber and other nutrients. And maybe I'll try a sugar-free jelly to cut some calories. A half a PB&J is a satisfying snack, and the joy it brings is worth keeping it in my diet.

Don't be a slave to the scale. (Related)

I feel too many people get addicted to the scale. They can't make it through the day without stepping on that little piece of equipment. If you don't lose any weight your day is ruined. Don't let it happen to you.

I have a rule in my house that you can only step on the scale once a week. I feel it gives you something to work for and keeps you on track for the week. Too many people will lose confidence and get down so easily because of a bad day. Then it spirals into sympathy eating. Weight loss is about confidence and will power. It is tough to lose weight, but why make it tougher by measuring yourself everyday. This is one of my tricks for consistent weight loss.

The Passover Diet (Related)

As many of you know, it's Passover season. Passover is perhaps one of the most neurotic holidays on the jewish calendar. We ask lots of questions, lament over terrible plagues and slavery, hide matzoh from little children, and leave a full glass of wine for a dude that never shows up named Elijah. I took the train up to New Haven, Connecticut where our family of seventeen dined on on gefilte fish, matzah ball soup, turkey, and horse raddish. I guess Passover food is diet friendly! I passed on the deserts and ate copious amounts of turkey and salad. My goal for this week is to lose 2-3 lbs.

Noah Sends a Message (Related)

Our newly formed basketball team held its first practice last Sunday. Two days have passed and my legs still feel like concrete. I'm hopeful that our 8 game schedule combined with our Sunday practices will help shed some collective weight. Noah sent a very deliberate message to the team when he arrived at the court eating a salad.

Monday, April 2, 2007

HOT DOG SUMMER (Related)

"A hot dog at the ballpark is better than steak at the Ritz." —Humphrey Bogart .

Americans will consume over 20 million hot dogs this year in major league baseball parks. I'm happy to report that yesterday I contributed to that number while soaking in the Yankee's home opener. Resisting the hot dog is futile, and it will make a few more compulsory apperances this year (July 4th, for example). Fat is Wack team, I say do your best to look for light dogs made with chicken or turkey, which tend to have fewer calories and fat than the 260 calories a regular bun and dog will cost you.

"I Pity the Fool" - Clubber Lang (Related)

Steve, welcome to the Fat is Wack Competition. We needed another Heavy Weight.

Also, I'm not intimidated by your post... Clubber Lang articulates how I feel about your challenge:

"Interviewer (Related) : Do you hate Rocky?"

"Clubber Lang (Related) : No, I don't hate Balboa. I pity the fool, and I will destroy any man who tries to take what I got!"

A New Entrant in the Fat is Wack Contest (Related)

Well I spoke with Al and I figured although I dropped 30 lbs last year and have done a good job keeping it off, why not join the fight against fat and make a new challenge.

I have decided this year to play beach volleyball at the highest level possible. But I need to be about 180 lbs. I am currently 205 lbs and in good shape but to play semi-pro volleyball on the Florida Beach Tour, I need to be in peak condition. So I am joining the challenge and I am warning all of you. I am serious and I will get to my goal weight.

They don't call me the "male Mary-Kate Olsen of dieting" for nothing!

Lacey Stone - Fitness Goddess (Related)

A few days ago I attended "The Big Game" (Related) class at the gym . I got up at 6am because The Big Game bills itself as an "athletic-inspired full-body conditioning class to get your heart pumping. Alternate between high and low intensity athletic drills while you train your brain to have the mentality of an athlete." Sounded like something I needed.

I walked into the studio, always intimidated because I'm paranoid that someone is thinking, Oh great another hairy sweaty guy to smell up the room. Everyone seemed nice enough, though, and together we positioned our steps and weighted balls. After we were all in place, Stone, the instructor and a former Division 1 b-ball player started yelling into one of those head mikes. I felt like I was in high school Phys Ed all over again, but this time Mr. Economo (that really was his name) was Lacey Stone (Related) . We did some jumping jacks, some modified suicides, a little running in place, and fake jump roping. 45 minutes later, sweatier than I've ever been, I huddled around Stacey with the other class members. She yelled "Hands in!" and we all yelled "Together." It was great preparation for our first basketball team practice.

Oh, and for the record Mr. Economo had this real aversion to cursing. Each time you cursed you had to give him 25 pushups per letter. I never knew eff bombs could get you into shape.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Let the games begin! (Related)

So I walked into a crack den today and weighed myself. 198 lbs, said the scale. I replied - you, scale, are a liar.

Then it struck me as I was standing on my trusty scale in my bathroom. I am 198 lbs. Awesome!

How I managed to gain 10 lbs in the past month is beyond me, but it should simple to shred. I look forward to being 174 lbs on August 1.

Based on my complex calculations, a 24 pound weight loss is a winning number. My system is simple. Water.

Gett Off My Bike Continued (Related)

I walked into the spin class at my gym and began to scope out the audience. I asked the man next to me if the class was appropriate for a beginner. He said yes but recommended I ask the instructor to adjust the bike for maximum comfort, which of course I ignored. I clipped into the bike, adjusted the seat and started to warm up. 2 minutes before the class started I got a tap on my shoulder, I looked up to see a fully decked out female wearing biker shorts, weird cycling shoes and some water resistant looking biking shirt. She said, "You're on my bike, would you mind using another one?" I looked around and noticed that 10 other bikes were available and politely pointed out that I had just adjusted the seat to which she replied, "This IS my bike." My Spidey sense kicked in and I started to feel like I had just occupied the wrong seat in the high school cafeteria and was about to be pummeled by the entire football team. I knew that if I continued the debate it would end with her giving me some type of Three O'Clock High (Related) quote like,

"You and me, we're gonna have a fight. Today. After school. Three o'clock. In the parking lot. You try and run, I'm gonna track you down. You go to a teacher, it's only gonna get worse. You sneak home, I'm gonna be under your bed." - Buddy Revell

Instinctively, I got up and changed bikes, a couple of the other bikers shrugged their shoulders at me. The class began and I started peddling. After a few seconds I began to realize that this was going to be much harder than I had originally planned. I began to get this horrible pain in my butt from the seat, instantly recognizing the benefits to biker shorts, which I thought were really only a late 80s fashion statement. I desperately wanted to quit after a few minutes and go upstairs to the comfort of my cushy stationary bike and TV. Then the instructor started do some intervals that required standing up which fortunately temporarily relieved my butt pain. The class continued with the instructor telling us to imagine our outdoor rides using language like, "You just passed two riders, you're at the front of the pack, everything is silent now GO!" Happy to be manipulated by the instructor I imagined myself on the Rickenbacker Causeway in Miami climbing the bridge with the Miami skyline in the background. Then the effer said, "Now you're peddling through sand." The class ended with groans and moans from the last interval but I had burned 700 calories according to my heart monitor and had maintained a very high aerobic workout for far longer than the customary 20 minutes I spend on the bike. I was so tired I had to skip weight training and went home soaked in weight loss sweat.

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Thursday, April 26, 2007

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Computer Monkey 004

Thursday, April 26, 2007

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El